Watch as Sydney rocks out with her play guitar.  It’s been tough being a dad to kids who were way cooler than me.  I guess that I’ve had over 19 years to get used to it, but I don’t think I’ve reached that place yet.

The first part of the year, I did pretty well blogging.  The last few months….  not so much.

The next thing was that I started out last year with a blog titled “The 2009 List of Books”.  You know, books that I wanted to read last year.  Here’s the list with some notes:

“The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit” by Seth Godin (Nope, not yet.  Still want to, though.)

“Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us” by Seth Godin  (Started it, never finished it.)

“Outliers: The Story of Success” by Malcolm Gladwell  (Um, yeah, never started it.  Read about it.  Liked the ideas.)

“Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality” by Rob Bell  (Yes!  Lorana and I read it and discussed it.  It was tough talking about things in the book based on my recent past.)

“Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip – Confessions of a Cynical Waiter” by The Waiter (aka: Steve Dublanica)  (Still want to read it.)

“The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical” by Shane Claiborne  (Stole it from my friend Jay, got halfway through it.)

So, you’re wondering now, “Does he finish any books?”  Yes, I do.  We read several books as a part of our small groups.  I did make it through a couple of fiction books last year.  I also read a couple of others that I’ve mentioned here on my blog.  They were good ones, too.

Now, since the title mentioned 2010, I should talk about what I hope to read this year.

1.  The Smart Stepmom by Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge

2.  (another book that I have agreed not to mention until after it’s released)

3.  Hear No Evil by Matthew Paul Turner (okay, it’s not released yet but if he wants to send me an early copy…)

4.  All the books that I mentioned above that weren’t finished.

5.  A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller (I hear my wife got/will get a copy for Christmas.)

6.  Crazy Love by Francis Chan

It’s an ambitious list.  All of the books that I want to read take time.  They’re not lightweight for me.  I’m going to need to dwell on them, absorbing the ideas and thoughts put forth in them.

It’s going to be a good year.

I’d get irritable when people started talking about Jesus’ birthday or would throw birthday parties for him.  To me, we may celebrate the birth of Jesus on the 25th of December and throughout Advent but to claim a single day as his birthday left me peevish.  There are a lot of myths that are widely accepted regarding the day that God became man.

Then, two to three years ago, Andy turned things on their head for me.  He spoke a series of messages that culminated with the words printed on stickers that were handed out to every attendee at North Point.  These said simply, “I’m the reason for the season.”

WAIT… Wha?

Here’s the thought.  The Messiah came to die for mankind who was lost in sin.  If humans, who were God’s creation had never sinned, they would not need a savior.  To die, God had to become a man.  QED, I am the reason that Jesus was born on whatever day of the year.  For my sins, he came to die.  BTW, yours, too.  We celebrate the birth as the first step in the chain of events that leads to our redemption.  That’s why I believe in Christmas and not celebrating a “holiday season”.

As far as I’m concerned, I am the reason for the season.

How do I really know that Barack Obama exists and that he has my best interests as a citizen at heart?  Sure, I’ve seen video footage of him and read about him and what he has reportedly said and done.  But, when it comes down to it, can I really trust all of that?  They’re doing amazing stuff with CGI these days.  Couldn’t George Lucas and the talented folks over at Skywalker Ranch have put together something that fooled us all?

I was talking to my therapist last week and I used that analogy.

You can tell me that Obama exists.  You can show me his words or the accounts of his actions.  You can tell me that he cares and that he wants what is best for our country.

Would I be foolish if I continued in not believing in him?

I am often that way when it comes to God.  There is a record of his actions and words.  Some of it is written by eyewitnesses…  people who were there and saw what happened.

BUT…  In my heart, I wonder about God.  Does he truly care about me?  Does he want what is best for me? (Reminder:  I don’t always want what is best for me.)

Really, I didn’t.

I’ve just been so deep into life that I haven’t stopped to write.

I’ve been thinking about things…

Reading so much…

Listening to everything…

Walking with God slowly…

Praying to him…  (not enough)

Talking with Lorana…

Enjoying my daughters…

I have had so many thoughts that I could blog about.  But… that’s not where I’m at right now.  I’m not at a place that I can be so raw and transparent to put it out there for the very few people who read my blog can see.

Lorana knows my heart and that is enough.

See, in our relationship, I’m the Idealist and she is the Realist.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not 100% that way.  She does have dreams and I do see some things in the harsh, cold light of truth.

But, overall, those are the roles that we seem to fill.  I am heart and she is wisdom.

I dream big stuff and just plan on it all working out somehow.  She looks at the data and our circumstances and sees that it may not be possible as things are right then.

At times, I get down on myself a little for being this way.  I want to have my feet firmly planted on the ground and wade through life.  I want to be the planner and leader that makes it all work out.

We believe that you either need both types to make a marriage work, or each person needs a decent mixture of idealism and practicality.

As a Christian and an idealist, it would be far too easy for me to dream and then say that my faith in God will make up the gap between that dream and reality.  It just doesn’t happen that way, though.  Sometimes God wants us to put feet to our prayers.  He could do it all for us, but then what would be the point?

So, is there a point to this post?  Probably not to anyone but Lorana and me.  We’re on a journey and trying to find the best way to get to where we are going.  We grow daily when we pay attention and slide backwards when we don’t.

It’s life, right?

“GOD’S business needs to be done GOD’S way!!!!!!!”

Um, yeah.

Who has a handle on that?  Is it the ultra-fundamentalists?  Is it the far left leaning liberals?  How about evangelicals?  Any ecumenical out there think they have it?  How about the folks who think God is a Republican?  Wait, what about those who see him as the great Santa in the sky or a dear old grandfather?

Everyone who has a notion of God sees him in the light of their own context.  It is inescapable.  I’ve been told by some that they believe in the God of the Bible and that they have a clear picture of him.  I still maintain that there are lenses that we each look through.  We all have our own.  Are yours rose-colored?  Are they so black and dark that they limit what you can see?  Maybe agnostics and atheists wear these to keep them from seeing and being open-minded when it comes to God.

Now, I know how I was raised.  I know how churches that I grew up in taught the Bible.  I know that there are several different things that Jesus said that are glossed over or contextualized to fit in with a certain comfort zone.  So many things are explained away to soften any harshness that we might feel.

Here’s a question.  If God’s work needs to be done God’s way, why don’t good, faithful, church-going Christians spend more time with prostitutes and drunks?  Why don’t they go to parties where there is drinking and dancing?  Jesus did.  So, wouldn’t that count as doing something God’s way?  They instead practice “separation”.  In separating themselves from sin, they go too far and also separate themselves from the sinner.

Jesus told Nicodemus that he had to be born again.  Then, he told a rich, young ruler that he had to sell all that he had and give it to the poor.  Which one of these to we accept and teach widely?  Which one do we claim was only meant for one person, but should be a lesson to all of us to not put material possessions above serving God?  It’s easy to be born again, but hard to give away all that you own.  (Not an original idea of mine.  Read The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.)

My rear end is totally being kicked by two books that I’m reading.  I kinda linked to them before.  This post is about what I’m thinking and wrestling with.  I hope that none of my readers feels attacked or that I’m taking this out on them.

Many of the writers are just people to me.  Their words and thoughts either interest me or entertain me.  So, I keep reading.

Other writers, seem to rise to a different level.  You start thinking about them in terms of friendship.  You think “Hey, this guy and I would really get along.” or “Man, we have a lot in common.”  Sometimes it may be as simple as feeling like you’d love to have a drink with them and talk about life, love, or  whatever.

Sometimes, I get to thinking that I am friends with them.  From their writing, you feel a kinship because you’ve seen inside their minds or souls.

A few of the folks that show up in my reader, I have had the chance to meet.  Maybe one or two of the internationally known blogsters could be listed under the category of friend.  I’m not going to drop names, that’d be totally uncool.  Others were friends before blogging got big.

Just a few random thoughts.

BTW, my favorite blog writer is in the bedroom we share, still asleep.  She is truly my best friend for life.  BFFL!

* Is there a hole in our gospel?

* Apple hasn’t dropped the 3.0 software yet

* What should Lorana and I do?

* Is the revolution truly irresistible?  If so, how has it been resisted all these years by so many?

* “be transformed by the renewing of your mind”

* Talking to my wife is wonderfully sweet when the topics are kind of awkward.

Ok, let me be clear.  Lorana and I were there for No Doubt, but I think Emily was a bit more interested in Paramore.  Sitting up in the lawn, it felt like the crowd was 75% female during their set.  Waves of estrogen and whatever makes up female teen angst surged all around us.  Paramore was cool.  I recognized a few songs, but didn’t feel the need to sing along, waving my hands in the air.

. . . and then, the moment we had been waiting for:  Adrian, Gwen, Tom, and Tony.  I’ve wanted to see No Doubt in concert for sooooo long now.  There’s no disappointment here.  Kicking it off with Spiderwebs and finishing their encore with Sunday Morning, they played it all.

From seeing concert footage of their early years or their heyday, there was probably a whole different vibe going on then.  Now, though?  They still brought energy to every song they played.  The lawn was a sea of bodies jumping and dancing.  I think my daughters saw their dad in a new light.

Favorite moments:

“Simple Kind of Life” – when Gwen sang the words:  I always thought I’d be a mom . . . She paused, smiled ever so sweetly and then went on with the song.

“Running” – The screens behind the band  showed clips and photo’s from the bands early, early years – Running, running, As fast as we can, Do you think we’ll make it?